the ennui
of this
exhaustion
stretches over
the vastness
in these
hours that
even the
hissing of
insects
and the
clicking of
incandescent
bulbs
cannot span.
everything
here and now
is made only
to strip you
of your
senses.

that waitress will not
give you the time
don't even ask
do not even think it

she'll only break
your yellow little heart
the tiny eggshell
of whatever it is
that you are.

all right than
this place is saved
for someone,
not you

with each analysis
there will be a part
that dies, got rut
shot straight through
into hell.

it turns words
to poison arrows
shooting sparrows
flying through you

covers you with
death and sparrow shit.

and you, too stupid
to move, drowning
drowning in that
poison sparrow shit.

the night
has grown
tired with
you and
your sorrow.

could you
please shut
up?
could you
peel back
your face?

can't you
won't you
give us
something
more?

is this not
how you
measure
success?

filling little
buckets as
fast as
you can.

the night
will defecate
into each
and every one.

tomorrow
you'll have
to start over.

you'll have to
give way to
tomorrow's sun.

waking from
beneath the
filth of this
abhorrent night.

our turgid
souls

plodding
through the

disquiet
ruins of our

filthily livid
yellow days.

i feel you
walk through
my heart

do you see
what i see?

the exhausted
trajectory of
my evolution

do you see
these absurdities
of my untempered
heart

the un-melodic
clank of my pulse,
the wheezing swell
of my chest

as you stand now
you have seen more
than i cared
to show you.

there is a
war coming

and you stand
unbroken, still
and there is that
war, coming.

the bells won't
stop tolling
for this is
the apex of all
my accomplishments.

there is no use
in telling me
you hunger,
for i hunger too.

all that is left
for us to
consume,
the rabid blindness
of the wicked and
the dead.

the din
of this
place,
impossible

but it's
good to
get away

and onto
the streets
and into
the cafes

where you
know
others are
alive

because
tonight you'll
have to
face them

the four
walls,
the horsemen.

you'll have
to stand
brave,
that means

with courage
and without
rage.
still,

like the
equable light
that falls
softly,

slowly
setting all
those little
thoughts aflame.

the moonlight matches
the sound
the music floods
your eyes
you know the pain
will burn
and sting
sweet
like the richest honey
you know what
you know
but it's not enough
someone else
will always have
the upper
hand
the right words

your refusal
will be your downfall
the sound of
protests breaking
like leaves
letting go into
the wind
it will blister your ears
and the world
will remain full
of things
you'll never have
but always want

this space
i occupied
no longer
goes soft
and comfortable

the walls
wept when
the songs played

my blood
boiled as
i slept

i shrank
to nothing
i was glad
to do it
glad to

be rid
of that
anxiety

sometimes
horrors pass
through
my brain
and i feel
every capillary
contract

when i wake
i swear
i can sweat
blood.

i drift into
daydreams

brave
but incomplete

and words flow
and i believed
in then
and i believed
in them

i said i
would do it

maybe it's
just shit talkin'

but something's
right
something soared
now i'm on top
invincible

a god
full of shit.

murdering the days,
even the sunlight
turns blood red
and thick,
viscous with clot

slyly in sorrow
the yellow lights
blink on
blink off

a deep inhale,
hold it forever
exhale and wish
it to be over,
this slavery

and so
no more
words could be
forgotten.