the roofs smolder
as the rain blisters
all the things it slants upon

and the sun
bullied by the billowing
greyness of clouds

slithers
beneath the horizon

they will play,
shifting around,
some absurd session
of musical chairs.
they'll do it
in the name
of progress
or happiness
some type of warped
righteousness
taking more than
they deserve.
just a matter of first come
first serve

i'll stand still,
sitting motionless
without proclamation.
i know their rules
but i don't
understand the purpose
to kill beauty
in order to embrace
the illusion
thereof.

spread yourself open
for their greedy
yellow teeth
dripping with carrion
the wolves have come
for your children
born and unborn
and stillborn
change is gonna come

why hold back?
why not spill out?
white hot nightmares
and uncontrollable days.
let the blood flow
let it ebb forth.
scrub the capillaries
cleanse the veins.
wouldn't you,
couldn't you
for a better
tomorrow

bloodletting.

we are the youth, ascetic
giving our time away
we build our religions
deny ourselves for love
for instant digital dreams

all we love has been deemed
ignominious

we are scattered and disparaged
suffering our own torments
we do not ask forgiveness,
not anymore

we surrender our courage
and our heros are shunned
we are our own worst enemies.
sanctified

the beauty of these days
grows larger
as the nights do too.
sadness whimpers in fear.

fear of eyes and mouths like
ravenous vulture's claws

how many dreams have i
shaken to death?
how many lovers have i seen?
how many killers have i
greeted in the streets and
shaken hands with?

all the times i looked death
in the eyes and was unaware
of what it was i was gazing into.

it comes at you in this
expanding beauty of days
and the ever growing night.

this day has been tired
warm and grey and quiet.
these words can't and won't
circumscribe the proximity
of the visions alight in what you feel.

the leaves whisper their last words
as they let go their branches
singing in the wind.
how is it that they can take
that engulfing glowing beauty and

surrender the agonizing twisting
skeletons, dancing in the dusk
to the brazen fires
that herald the night.

beneath the yellow of electric lights
men generate what the ruins of their
souls will allow

watching spiders live with purpose
unquestioning, insatiable.
weaving the symbols of life and death.

a few will survive to be the paragon
forgiven but not saved from their
own torturous demons.

with the sun you will learn to smile
when your heart is cleansed
in the fires of agony.
it will be the gift of forgiveness.

all the luck is spent.
all has lost its intention
its pulchritude.
hope is eclipsed
by denial
or maybe it is the other
way around

there are gods
indifferent
they have no ears
no blood to give.
efforts elude these
thoughts.
these words
dismember the soul.
inevitable.

these bones
feel a thousand years old
the creak of each movement
startles.

can't remember being this old
can't remember feeling satisfied

the birds outside shriek
the trees whip around
and the dark winds howl.

i try not to move lest i wake
you from your restful slumber.

waiting for this year's blossoms
the skies yearn for sunlight.
and if this night could stretch
for several moments longer.

i could witness you
peaceful, dreaming.
beautiful.

there is a wretchedness
as illusive as
sunlight
it comes from the
moments of incompletion

you remember where
you have not yet been
the days are fast
the nights long and brutal
you look at yourself
the only true enemy
a comrade you cannot win.

it comes, it comes down
with leaves
it comes comes down
with rain
it comes down as she
finishes you.
today she is gone.
everything will kill,
today.

emptiness when the sun goes down
night kills the day much faster now
all the days in the memories ache
stuck in hope, waiting for something
other, better
but the wall of impossibility is much
too great
what beauty lies in the pain
in the end
in the death

this reduction to nothing is the
least of my deservingness
the words, broken arrows,
will not take flight.
nothing helps to lessen the blows
of an imagination that is thine enemy.
the faults lay with no one now
but i am beaten
longing for you.

you are right to move on
i have nothing to offer you now
i never really have
it was your realization
and my end.

i read words that have
broken my heart
i looked at memories that
did my heart in too
i watched time slip away
smooth like razors
how do you see past these ruins
and emptiness

show me how it is to smile
at the sunday evening glow

has not all of this broken
your heart?

on these days of blankness
intimidation digs itself in.
there is nothing but fear
and memory
running, a river
flooded by tears
and eulogy.
all things have you.
all things hurt.

a thousand breaths
spent in the fields of concrete
of brick and mortar

evaporating into
the stench of tar
thick as phlegm

passing through the hours.

it pines...
this heart

...the smoke
rings around
the sun,
beating out
indelible bruised
moments
stretching into
unforgiving

hours.

i don't understand laziness
but i do understand exhaustion
which is often mistaken for laziness.

the inability to move
the inability to see to your responsibilities
is only slightly different than
the unwillingness to do so.

but it is a difference,
as thin as a human hair
and capable of breaking worlds apart.

2 a.m.
and something is dying
as so many things do
at such an hour.
i almost fought
so i could be dismantled.

the thinness of the air.

the call to senseless violence
as to die
or to lose yourself,
if only until tomorrow.

lumps in my throat
swell
when stars revolve
around my
heart.

my thoughts are
short
and inconsistent

when the shoelace
snapped
i thought of
madness

as the sun blazed
horrible,
through the bruise
of sky

into the winter snow.

acrid stench of
brakes

hurry homeward.

the clouds were
clenched fists

pummeling the day
into a humid
haze.

there were siphons
sucking in
my guts

and i could scarcely
walk.

just like that the silence is gone.
solitude is raped
violated in the most egregious
of ways.

my thoughts explode
in a thousand different
directions.
frustrated by preoccupations
i dream of things
long gone.

there is nothing
now but this.

each foot step stubs out
my soul.
and i panic. i lose.
my days become
ashtrays, overflowing.

ashes of things incomplete.

the reaper dances around my brain
points his skeletal finger at me
wickedness spews forth from the corners
of his deadened smile.

it won't be long, it can't be long.
my heart shrivels into a tiny black vapor.
if you got something better than this
give it to me
a cure for my crippled, limping mind.

administer the killers of pain.

can't make out the words
this mania turns to indecision
what is it that we are waiting for?
we can't hear anything
we succumb to the hunger and desire
we are lost.
emptiness, is not enough.
the birds and the sun laugh at us.
taunt us.
they have us by our throats.
emptiness is all we have.
but our minds remain scrambled
and our souls choked out.

trying to get the fog out of my head.
bring me something to save my soul.

hurry, think of something
there is no room for refinement.

just get it done.
get it out.

like shit into the ether.
breathe in deep.
now you are infected
like me, you must die.
slow and merciless your expiration

like shit into the ether.

the swine of humanity
chomp through
our
buttery bones.

do you have
something worth while?
you must surrender it.

you must give it to them.
they are entitled.

there is no quiet.

only demands
ultimatums.

there is no peace
only fear.

breathe in the cold air
breathe in fire

the heart nearly stops.

just a faint whisper
and no one understands.

i've got nothing
nothing new
just a stomach ache.

i feel death near and
justice far.

i had words but they're
gone now.
it's too loud here and i'm running short
on breath.

i wheeze and shit
and try to save what's left of this night.