in the
miscellany
of these
days,

i can
feel it
come

swelling,
gripping
my skull

tightly.
constricting
my breast.

choking
my soul.
disappointment

is a way,
is the way.
the ash

fills my eyes,
nose, throat.
breathe in

deeply.
my blood
thickens,

my heart
slows.
my vision

blurs, fades,
washes out.

the lie
is accepted.
morphing

into a truth,
into the truth.
our existence

now hinges
upon
it.